“take a breath,” she said.
i couldn’t.
“i can’t….” i replied.
“breathe….” she suggested.
“i’m here….”
(stammering)
“it
was
….it was….
……….it….”
“focus,” i commanded my other self.
“focus.”
“breathe”
(dissociated. detached,)
(the very essence of affect, flattened beyond the norm.)
all
at
once
in
…in….
a flash
….a fright
so fierce
…alight
fear
…engulfed
in flames
the pain
searing
slicing
igniting
pain
so sharp
her eyes
bled
bleeding
entranced
by a light
so bright
even in darkness
it would
never
ever
ever
go
unseen
“breathe,”
she screamed
“please.”
“please.”
“please.”
“i long to live… away”
even louder,
she screamed.
“end this, please.”
“i know this is but…
…the ugliest of dreams.”
alas…
nightmare it was not…”
the warmth
of her blood….
the iron….
the sting…
the pain
was real.
the horror
was never
even close
to
a
dream…….
“don’t breathe.”
“let it go.”
“you have every right…
…… to scream”